wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
