Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
