you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
