I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
