Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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