turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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