He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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