he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
