my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
