doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Randomize
