Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize