I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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