I will die if light touches me.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
