I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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