dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
