I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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