he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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