like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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