No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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