hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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