wanna go halves on a baby?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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