that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
