plz talk dirty to me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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