Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
