Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
