Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
