Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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