i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize