Are we in a gay sports bar?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize