seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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