I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
this boner is exhausting
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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