He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
pop tarts are not kleenex
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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