I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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