You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
