You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
