I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
