Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
