dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
