Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
