At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think I died a long time ago.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
