and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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