i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
