That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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