BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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