Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
