but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize