i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
