I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize