No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
