How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
