I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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