Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
