i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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