Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
