I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
