So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
