i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
