peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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