guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
