I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
