Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
