is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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