I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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