it wasn't lemon gatorade
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
