Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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