he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
